Bleurgh. That's the only word/expression I can think of that truly describes my feelings on work meetings on weekends. At 10:00 hours this Saturday, I and members of the team will meet up to discuss a performance appraisal exercise the management assigned us. Yes, it is that time of the year, PA Time. Where all good deeds are rewarded and all sub-par deeds are duly noted.
I realize that there is a serious issue with unemployment the world over and don't get me wrong, I am completely grateful to have a steady job I feel completely secure about but.....sometimes it all feels like it's too much. I dunno, maybe cos we are in the midst of the final stretch in this mega project and certain aspects are not going the way it should and I'm completely stressed but for the past coupla days, I have been feeling mighty resentful of all the personal time my job has taken away from me.
It's like a slideshow in my mind's eye, the times I have gone home and had my boss call me to discuss one thing or another, this occurs on practically a daily basis for the last 6 months, it's like any time I have is completely dedicated to this job. I go home and the first thing I do is check my work email. Then I reply my work emails. I have not been able to get a good nights sleep in ages. I have trouble falling asleep itself. I go to sleep with my work laptop right next to my bed, opened during the night so I can receive the emails incoming from different parts of the world. I know it's unhealthy to bring your work into your rest area but it's unavoidable, if I don't, I'll only end up walking up and down from the study to the bedroom during the night. My first waking action is to shake my mouse to wake the screen and check all the emails. And reply. I now officially resent emailing. It takes up half my days.
I love my job, I love having a job, I love all the opportunities this job has afforded me, I love the fact that I had a hand in effecting change in a foreign country but I am seriously burnt out. I don't want this job to take over my entire life. I just want my ME time back! I want work to leave my weekends and some of my weeknights alone!
'K, rant over :)
