isit the clock ticking?

Of late I keep being ambushed by my own, umm, I guess I'll say thoughts. For the last 2 menstrual cycles, I've suddenly thought about the eggs that went to waste *insert sheepish, confused grin here*

I'll be honest, I have no clue if I even want to have children of my own. It surely isn't happening biologically if I'm not married. It's not like I haven't thought about having kids, I just don't know if I want them biologically. I have given some very fleeting thoughts on adoption which, if I really wanted to have kids, would be the route I most likely choose if on my own. Plus, biologically, if I do want them, well, I think I'm realistic enough to know that conception is a whole other ballgame. I keep hearing stories of so many people trying to concieve and it's difficult and heartbreaking and I'm completely sympathetic so if the day comes that I want to try to have a kid, I hope I remember that it's not always going to be a smooth journey.

Which brings us back to my body. I guess it could be my biological clock trying to have a say. Sometimes I think, well that egg could've turned into a kid but it's gone now. And I always end up surprised cos more than anything, I don't believe I'm prepared to go on a date let alone procreate :D Sigh, I get that these new "ideas" I find myself thinking are brought about with growing older. Especially for women where we're constantly bombarded with the "ideal" of "having it all". There isn't anything I can do about it though, how do I stop unconscious thoughts from making an appearance, right?

why do i watch it if it irritates me?

Every week like clockwork I'll watch the latest epi of MTV's Underemployed. Storyline-wise, I can accept it but the characters are just annoying! I dislike practically all of them bar Miles and to a lesser degree Sofia. The one who irritates me the most is the ad agency girl whose name escapes me right now but her annoying face is imprinted in my head taunting me. LOL, yes, I know I sound like a wacko.

Ah, IMDB has provided the answer- Daphne. I truly dislike her. Self-absorbed, selfish, deluded; the list of why I don't like her can go on and on. It irritates me further that she's supposed to be the most likeable one! At the beginning of the show, she was an unpaid intern who slept with her direct superior and then threatened to expose their affair if he didn't recommend her for payroll. Granted, she was willing to leave her unpaid internship if he was serious about starting a relationship with her but when he mentions he has a girlfriend whom he wasn't going to stop seeing, she uses the whole "you slept with me in your car" to get him to make her a permanent employee. Which he does, subsequently dumping his girlfriend and then wanting to continue shacking up with her. First she takes the moral highground and says since they work together it's best that they don't but then later in a scene at the guy's apartment, reasons for them being there escape me, she comes on to him. But what makes her really annoying is how she feels entitled to ask for a pay raise EVERY SINGLE EPISODE! She's so unprofessional, always bringing her personal life to work and I don't know at which company this would be allowed to go on but I don't see new employees going around constantly to their bosses office to ask for a raise because the letters to repay their student loan has started coming in. Who the hell do you think you are?!?!?! And girl, keep your mouth shut when people tell you to keep it on the DL! Or perhaps, PEOPLE, stop telling blabber-mouth stuff you don't want other people to know cos she's got a trapper that just won't shut!

And Viva, the new mom. God, is there a more annoying self-appointed know-it-all. Yes, you gave birth to a child, however, childbirth doesn't come with wisdom and knowledge as a door gift! Woman, you don't know all the answers to life so I wish you wouldn't act like you did! That dine-and-dash in the latest episode, wow, way to set the bar for your kid! I hate how she goes around making all these bad judgment calls and when her boyfriend (and baby daddy) commit nearly identical infractions, she gets all self-righteous as if her shit don't stink! Yes, I went there, I typed that out, hehehe :)

Which brings us to baby daddy, Captain Planet wannabe Lou. Dude, you blather on about the evironment and recycling and how earth is dying yet I saw you blatantly letting the tap run as you vigorously scrubbed the fingers you used to finger that co-worker of yours in your dad's office! If you were so environmentally conscious and not simply pretentious, you would have turned the tap off while you soaped your hands. Letting the water run is called wastage and you so eloquently told Miles after your jog/run that fresh water is a precious commodity and he should have some while he still can. And later in that episode, you allowed said water to run down the drain as you soaped your dirty little secret off! Continuity in character would be much appreciated, Producers!

:D Yeah, that was really getting to me, hehehe. Just needed to rant about them. Not to say there aren't things about the other two I don't like but they are to a lesser degree than those three who always sit on their almighty high horse. I mean, okay, if I wanted to nitpick, I felt Sofia being told off by the customer when she she was working in the donut shop was completely justified. What kind of establishment allows employees to take personal calls as they are serving customers. I wanted to tell her to put the damn phone down and give that man his donuts! And I have a feeling, the way that scene was filmed felt like the viewers were supposed to sympathize with Yelled-At-Sofia and give the indignant customer dirty looks and call him "Ass-hat". The only ass-hat I saw was Sofia. You do not get to attend to your personal business while you're on the clock especially when in the service industry! Just saying. And Miles, I can't really think of anything particularly annoying he's done. I guess I tolerate him because he don't act like he's perfect-yet-misunderstood. He fully realizes he's flawed and he embraces it.

Anyways, mad rant over - perhaps I'm just suffering from F1 withdrawal what with Interlagos having come and gone. And lemme tell ya, what an eventful race that was. Loads of angry, frustrated screaming at the screen when I thought Vettel had messed up at the start and was letting Alonso win it all. I guess Vettel heard me cos he fought tooth and nail to make sure it did not happen. At the end of it all, Vettel's the 3x WDC and I got to see Alonso look all despondent, mulling over how he's been touted as the most complete current F1 driver on the grid yet it's Vettel who is the highest placed WDC. Also probably wondering why he can't win it in a Ferrari when Red Bull is just an energy drinks team. It's been THREE LONG YEARS dude, you should be wondering WTF is going on :D Kimi came in his first year and won both the WDC and WCC. Next year, he helped Ferrari get the WCC. Since you, FAlonso, came in, you've given them squat! Karma's a bitch ain't she, Ferrari. Yes, I know what you did to Kimi - but thanks for that. He was too good for you anyway. Hehehe, how did this turn into an F1 thing? Even so, I feel better having got that off of my chest, muahahaha. Okay, can't wait till next week's epi *rolls eyes* :D

collective haul collage(s)

Every so often I get a lil bit hardworking to make these collages of my recent online/offline buys which are usually fashion-related. I like to post when I make the purchases but I tend to get lazy with a follow-up. But now and again, especially when it's new clothes, I'll take a pic of the outfit I'm wearing that day that incorporates whatever new apparel I just got so that when I've got nothing better to do than post narcissistic pictures of myself, I actually have them in hand, LOL. Anyways, this time around, I decided to make haul collages of the clothes, accessories and beauty products that I've recently received via online shopping and also those that I purchased at brick-and-mortar shops.

CLOTHES (and a few accessories).....

ACCESSORIES.....

BEAUTY BOUNTY.....

Yup, that's right, that is how much new beauty products I got in the past month or so. And I still managed to buy more, hehehe. But truly, I think I'm really set for the next year in terms of beauty products. I can't really imagine wanting to get anymore than I have this year. Even though I have made some progress in finishing off my beauty supplies, there's still a substantial amount to go through and I really hate to throw anything away. I'll be spending the next couple of months making sure I'm using the stuff that I've gotten this year.

Even clothes, I actually don't need anymore. I was cleaning my closet recently and I got so upset with myself that I couldn't fit all my clothes in my closet. Which is why I've been trying to minimize the spending on clothes. I mean, that Cyber Monday purchase, I had other stuff in my cart as well to make it to 50 bucks but I decided to just use the coupon code for the free shipping instead so I didn't have to overspend.

Anyways, I haven't simply been buying clothes, beauty products and bags. I've also got some stuff for my place. I went to Ikea last month and got some prints and had them mounted on black frames.

The quality of the image is a bit rubbish but I'm not aiming to submit this in an interior magazine or anything, hehehe. For the hodge podge collage, I got the butterflies from Ikea and the Van Gogh prints are actually greeting cards I bought at the Musee D'Orsay gift shop when I was in Paris back in 2010. The London city prints was also from Ikea. I just saw it and it brought back good memories of the time I lived in the UK as well as my UK trip in 2010. The same trip I went to Paris. Ah, good times, good times. Ok, that's all the pictures I have for my narcissistic post :D

pre-Thanksgiving shopping

Yup, I'm retroactively posting my online sprees again :) Anyways, I actually completely forgot about them. One purchase has even arrived and I'm already using it. Purchases were mainly from Beauty.com and one came from Amazon.com

So first was this Bliss FatGirlSlim Treatment Kit for USD38. I've always wanted to try Bliss's FatGirlSlim range but somehow never seemed to go through with the purchase till now. This kit is pretty good what with it containing the travel-friendly 2 oz versions of the FatGirlSlim cream, FatGirlSlim scrub and FatGirlSleep as well as the Bliss Body Simulator.

I had a $10 off $40 purchase and used it on this and a travel version of ColorScience's SPF 30 Sunforgettable Mineral Powder Sun Protection orb.

Total spent was $50. I've already received this order which shipped along with my F21 Vets Day gets, Amazon.com Tarte haul and drugstore.com GNC purchases.

At the beginning of November, I had a Beauty.com FnF 20% off email-only promo which I used on getting the full size of the Bliss FatGirlSlim which retails for $32 but I paid $25.60.....

.....and FatGirlSleep, which is 6 bucks more pricey than the day version but I paid $30.40 after 20% off.....

..... as well as this CARGO Fresh Face Complexion Kit in Medium/Beige that I had been contemplating getting for the past month.....

I'd heard rave reviews on the blu_ray™ HD powder, which is in shade 30, that comes in this set and it's full-size too. Plus, the powder alone costs $32 and this set was $42 sans discount. It also comes with a full-size of their OneBase foundation/concealer in the shade #25 which on its own retails for $27, a travel-size of the blu_ray™ Activating Face Primer as well as a travel-size bronzer in medium. All in all, it's a really good kit to get what with 2 full size products in it. After the 20%, the kit costs $33.60. That's a really good deal, pat on the back, me :D

And lastly, my Amazon.com order which was for a BeautyBlender and BlenderCleanser Combo set consisting of 2 BeautyBlender sponges and a full-size bottle of the BlenderCleanser.

I'll admit I have been wanting to buy this for years now but could never bring myself to spend so much on a makeup sponge :D These are really expensive retailing at $39.95 for this set. I got it off of Amazon for $23.55 - SCORE!

Since I wanted free shipping, I topped up my order with these Van Gogh bookmarks that cost me $1.50 for a set of 12.

I think I've mentioned before that I'm a huge fan of Van Gogh's works so I was excited to find these at such a deal and that would bring my total just over the $25 minimum I needed for free shipping :D. Total spent at Amazon.com was $25.05, hehehe.

Ok, so really, it's no wonder I had nothing to buy during Black Friday, I have practically purchased whatever I wanted prior to that :)

awww, i failed CYBER MONDAY blackball test :(

Hehehe, I may have been able to resist Black Friday but Cyber Monday got me! Soooo close, though, so close! Maybe next year, eh?

Granted, my total spent was only USD50.67 which is relatively tame for me. I got 3 tops from F21 for $17.22 using the code CYBERMON for free shipping with no minimum. Then I used code 50WIDE at eyeslipsface.com to get some makeup for 50% off totaling $33.45 inclusive of the $6.95 for shipping and handling. Honestly, I have a feeling my F21 order which consists of the following.....

.....will end up having only that last blouse shipped. The first 2 blouses, which I already own in mustard and liked so much I decided I wanted them in all the shades, were already sold out/OOS when I decided I wanted to get them as a last minute Black Friday buy. I had put them in my cart early Black Friday but then thought better of checking out and when I finally decided I wanted them, the cart reflected as OOS. However, when I was looking for anything interesting from the Cyber Monday deal, I put that ruffled collar shirt in my cart and was surprised when the bag showed 3 items. I took a look and found that the first 2 blouses were going for even cheaper and now available. I didn't really want to think too much about it, nor did I want to spend too much money so I checked out with just those 3 tops. Hopefully F21 still have 'em in inventory cos I really do like those blouses.

At eyeslipsface.com I got quite a bit of stuff. Mainly things that I've resisted getting since I was waiting for the Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales. A few items were repurchases like the mineral foundation in warm (which I got 2 of) and the makeup cleansing cloths (stocked up 4 counts). I seem to go through the mineral foundation rather quickly :D

Aside from the two mentioned above, I also got 2 of the makeup remover pen. I'm a total klutz when it comes to eye makeup - I just can't seem to get the hang of putting mascara/eyeliner on without getting them on places they don't go! Especially mascara, I always wonder how people coat their lashes without having them stain their eyelids or undereye area. I also got the mascara and shadow shield because of this as well. That's what the half-moon shaped silicone sheet on the end of a stick is :) Other stuff I got are a pair of slant tweezers -never owned a pair nor have I truly ever tweezed my eyebrows, 2 jumbo lip gloss sticks in the shades Pink Umbrella and Movie Star - am kinda obsessed with jumbo lip crayons right now, the new cream version of their famous blush and bronzer set in St Lucia, replacement eyelash curler pads, the Studio custom 3-palette Beauty-On-The-Go compact case, a Studio custom palette in Spotted & Sporty as well as the Studio custom Beauty-On-The-Go gift set that contains the singular Beauty-On-The-Go compact case as well as 2 custom palettes in Life Of The Party and Girl Next Door.

I've been wanting those custom palettes for ages now. Especially the one in Spotted & Sporty. I've read the reviews and some are flattering but most are not. Still, I held off for months and I still want the set so I just went for it this time since its 50% off. Minus shipping total was $26.50.

Anyways, hoping that this is it - I'd like it if my Cyber Monday spree ended at a very pracitcal 50 bucks and some change :D

Dorothy Koomson always does this to me!

I'm emotionally exhausted! I just completed her book, "The Woman He Loved Before" and the entire thing was an emotional rollercoaster! She always does this! There are so many exclamation marks in this post! :D

Anyways, I've been on a bit of a Dorothy Koomson binge lately. I finally got myself to finish "The Ice Cream Girls" earlier in the month. Oh my god, I just don't know how she manages to put pen to paper and come up with these soul-jarring prose.....EVERY TIME! The way she manages to create these characters that draw you in and have you emotionally invest in them is just mind-boggling! And like I've mentioned before, her books are not just fluffy romantic chick lit, they usually revolve around a serious female-centric topic/issue that's relevant in today's society.

I'm now about to sink my teeth into her latest book, "The Rose Petal Beach". Honestly, I have no clue what it's about and wasn't even aware she had a new one out. It was part of a collection of her books I downloaded recently. For the first time ever I found some Dorothy Koomson mobi books and this was one of 'em. I actually would shell out money to buy a physical version of her book cos I feel she deserves it and it's my way of supporting her writing endeavours. Once I see it on The Book Depository, I'll get it. In the meantime, the mobi version will whet my appetite for all things Dorothy Koomson :)

still liking the 'mature' men

Right now it's the pre-qualifying show for the Brazilian Grand Prix 2012 and I'm watching it on SkySports F1 and I have to say I am developing quite a crush on former WDC, Damon Hill. Damon's (hehehe, I'm pretending I know him on a familiar level) now one of the presenters for the SkySports F1 coverage. As a former F1 driver, he's very qualified to be trackside gabbing about all things Formula 1. And every week that I've been watching him do his job, I'm more and more liking him :D He's a good-looker that one. Of course, Damon's not my first older guy crush in F1. Back in 2009 I blogged about the inaugural Singapore Grand Prix and mentioned how I'm a big fan of Martin Whitmarsh. But now, Martin has to compete with Damon for my complete affections, lol

and the winner is.....

MY WALLET, BANK BALANCE AND SELF-RESTRAINT, WOOHOO! BLACK FRIDAY, YOU LOST THIS YEAR!

Hehehe, can you tell how excited I am that I've managed to resist getting anything? C'mon, gotta admit it's a lil bit of a surprise that shopping obsessed moi did not buy anything during Black Friday :D Even I'm a lil surprised. Ok, more than a lil. I was waiting for this sale event but when it came around, nothing - and I mean zilch, zip, squat, nada, nowt - appealed to me enough to make me want to check out. And I visited numerous sites, put a bunch of items in my cart but when it came right down to checking out, I chickened out, hehehe <- LOL, am I a nerd or what?!?!

Anyways, kudos to you, Zlena! Good job on not going on a needless Black Friday spree. Pat on the back, old girl! Now, all that's left - let's get through Cyber Monday next :D

Ooh, on an unrelated but somewhat related note, F1 is coming to a close this weekend and the WDC race is still ON! I am hoping a certain young German driver will win it all since I am a big disliker of a certain Spanish pilot. But of course, I always want a certain Finnish dude to win the race at Interlagos come Sunday :D And on that note, off to enjoy my hazelnut coffee.....

dedicated to lotus's 2012 no 9

So I'm all about the haiku right now. Here's another one to commemorate Lotus F1 winning their first GP of 2012, courtesy of my most favourite F1 pilot.

  "ICEMAN Kimi, 

The GP of Abu Dhabi, 

You drove to VICTORY!"

LOL, sheesh, I have no clue why I'm doing this - just inspired to write rubbish Japanese poems of late is all I can say. Hehehe, oh well, at least it's something different from my usual long-winded nonsense. KIMI RAIKKONEN! You're AH-MAZING! MUAHS!

a haiku to UK forwarder, ForwardToMe

"UK-based ForwardToMe 
Shipping is tres' pricey! 
Thank god it's for fast delivery :)"

Okay, I've actually forgotten exactly how to do Japanese poetry, school was a loooooong time ago but the gist is there, hehehe. Bloody hell, I'm paying an exorbitant FORTY FOUR POUNDS for shipping! But according to my sis it's like next day or two-day delivery and my consolation is that they use DHL so that's good.....but damn, that's still really expensive. It's a good thing I REALLY wanted the set then ain't it? However, it essentially closes the door on the whole EU shopping front. That's just too much to pay for shipping, man.

i'm probably spending too much when.....

my dad is sending me FB messages about my current credit card total, LOL.

I was on Facebook just now to look at the FB page of this retreat where we're having next year's company kick-off meeting in January and noticed I had some messages in my FB inbox. When I looked at the list, I saw something from my dad - the message starting with, "Sweetheart, FYI...." dated October 28th which was last week. Just goes to show that I'm not like the majority of Facebook users who practically live on the site :D

Anywho, I originally thought it was about my aunt who was having a mastectomy back home and that my dad thought I was not in the loop. Lo and behold, I opened it up and he had copied and pasted the online credit card statement for my perusal. Hehehe. Hey, half of the bill is his purchase! I was back in Homeland last month and we went to Ikea. There he decided to get a new dining table and some chairs to go with it and told me to use the MC Platinum. I did! I think he totally forgot about that and thinks I spent over 3k on online stuff :D

On the whole 'my aunt had a mastectomy' issue.....well, she had a biopsy the week before and after the results came back positive for cancer, she immediately went in for the mastectomy. She's out now and in recovery. This has kinda put all the women in my family on alert. We've never had any brushes with breast cancer before this. On my dad's side I've had relatives who have passed on due to pancreatic and bone cancer respectively but we've never had a history of breast cancer till now. I'm kinda unsure about everything after finding out about it on Monday that she was going in for surgery. This aunt is my mum's sister so now that's like a double whamm on the cancer gene - both sides of my family seem to be contributors. All I can think to do is just to be more aware of my body and what it's telling me. Other than that, it's all in God Almighty's hands.