Of late I keep being ambushed by my own, umm, I guess I'll say thoughts. For the last 2 menstrual cycles, I've suddenly thought about the eggs that went to waste *insert sheepish, confused grin here*
I'll be honest, I have no clue if I even want to have children of my own. It surely isn't happening biologically if I'm not married. It's not like I haven't thought about having kids, I just don't know if I want them biologically. I have given some very fleeting thoughts on adoption which, if I really wanted to have kids, would be the route I most likely choose if on my own. Plus, biologically, if I do want them, well, I think I'm realistic enough to know that conception is a whole other ballgame. I keep hearing stories of so many people trying to concieve and it's difficult and heartbreaking and I'm completely sympathetic so if the day comes that I want to try to have a kid, I hope I remember that it's not always going to be a smooth journey.
Which brings us back to my body. I guess it could be my biological clock trying to have a say. Sometimes I think, well that egg could've turned into a kid but it's gone now. And I always end up surprised cos more than anything, I don't believe I'm prepared to go on a date let alone procreate :D Sigh, I get that these new "ideas" I find myself thinking are brought about with growing older. Especially for women where we're constantly bombarded with the "ideal" of "having it all". There isn't anything I can do about it though, how do I stop unconscious thoughts from making an appearance, right?
I'll be honest, I have no clue if I even want to have children of my own. It surely isn't happening biologically if I'm not married. It's not like I haven't thought about having kids, I just don't know if I want them biologically. I have given some very fleeting thoughts on adoption which, if I really wanted to have kids, would be the route I most likely choose if on my own. Plus, biologically, if I do want them, well, I think I'm realistic enough to know that conception is a whole other ballgame. I keep hearing stories of so many people trying to concieve and it's difficult and heartbreaking and I'm completely sympathetic so if the day comes that I want to try to have a kid, I hope I remember that it's not always going to be a smooth journey.
Which brings us back to my body. I guess it could be my biological clock trying to have a say. Sometimes I think, well that egg could've turned into a kid but it's gone now. And I always end up surprised cos more than anything, I don't believe I'm prepared to go on a date let alone procreate :D Sigh, I get that these new "ideas" I find myself thinking are brought about with growing older. Especially for women where we're constantly bombarded with the "ideal" of "having it all". There isn't anything I can do about it though, how do I stop unconscious thoughts from making an appearance, right?
